Vertigo

I am not afraid of heights, except for that unsettled feeling I have on a bridge when I look down and wonder what it would be like to jump.

I am not that person who gets lost or turned around and can’t find their way out, although there are times I wonder why I am here.

I feel painful pressure in my ear, the kind associated with air flight, except I am firmly attached to the ground.

I stand up too fast and fall down, stand up, fall down again; I stay down, just for a while, so I can marvel at the spinning lights.

I remember when I knew the cause of this sensation; too many rides on the carousel, too many drinks at the party.

I refuse to succumb to the fear that every headache is caused by an undiagnosed brain tumour, but the germ of the idea, like a tumour still grows.

I feel old, and suffer the vertigo of age, unbalanced just a little by the journey to the tipping point between life and death.

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2 thoughts on “Vertigo

  1. Nice work. Say, you never told me you lived on an ark!

    I am writing on April 25 to say that When Words Collide is 88 per cent sold out, and if they totally sell out in advance then they will sell no tickets at the door. I am going and Carrie Mumford is going and I hope to get Judy to go since she goes every second year and she missed last year. Last year I saw faces I knew from the Alexandra Writers Centre, but I barely said hello.

    I guess you would see people you know from Banff and places.

    I guess I won’t see you at FreeFall for the duration of summer. How sad, oh well.

    *Sean Crawford

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