New Year Resolutions

I started my resolutions a day early, hoping to catch the new year unaware.  January 1, 2015 was waiting for me of course, not fooled by such transparent tricks.

It is like setting the alarm clock 15 minutes ahead and expecting myself to fall for that ruse instead of hitting the snooze button twice and ending up 5 minutes behind.  Like trying to tickle myself, it can’t be done.

So, New Year’s Day 2015 slammed me hard, probably as revenge for treating it like it was stupid.  Of all “tomorrows” January 1 has a reputation to uphold, an attitude. The mission of January 1st is to see if it can break that New Year’s resolution right off the bat.

It didn’t matter that I cut up a boat load of vegetables on December 31 and placed it strategically at the front of the fridge beside a vat of low-fat yogurt dip.  New Year’s Day had me shoving aside broccoli florets and celery sticks in favour of the left over cheese platter and crackers. Who knows what evil mind voodoo convinced me that “wasting” party leftovers like high fructose punch, ripple chips and full fat onion dip was a far greater crime than putting off a resolution to eat healthier in 2015.

Wouldn’t it be better to start the year with a purge and rid the house of chocolate and wine in the best way possible, by consuming the whole lot on New Year’s Day in a glorious binge? Tomorrow I will do better.

Except, there is no such thing as ‘tomorrow’ for resolutions, only guilty ‘todays’.  January 1 is a bitch because it drives home the futility of hoping for success without action. A New Year’s resolution is a pipe dream without a plan, a destination without the journey to make it worthwhile. And that goes for any change I want to make; promises to myself to exercise, to write daily, submit more and spend time working on the blog.

The truth is, I really don’t believe in New Years Resolutions and I don’t make them any more.

I haven’t given up on starting things a day early though, that’s because today is ALWAYS the day to start. Tomorrow never comes.